1. Be respectful
You must respect all users, regardless of your liking towards them. Treat others the way you want to be treated. This also means that any homophobia, racism, sexism, etc will not be tolerated
2. Regarding Inappropriate language
The use of profanity should be kept to a minimum. However, any derogatory language towards any user is prohibited.
3. No spamming
(the spam channel is an exclusion to this rule)
4. No pornographic/adult/other NSFW material
There are minors in here please respect this.
5. No offensive names and profile pictures
You will be asked to change your name or picture if the staff deems them inappropriate.
6. Server Raiding
Raiding or mentions of raiding are not allowed.
7. Direct & Indirect Threats
Threats to other users of DDoS, Death, DoX, abuse, and other malicious threats are absolutely prohibited and disallowed.
8. Use channels appropriately
any bots must be used in their designated channels to avoid clutter. any messages must be sent in the correct chat channel.
9. Follow the Discord Community Guidelines
You can find them here: https://discordapp.com/guidelines
The Admins and Mods will Mute/Kick/Ban per discretion. If you feel mistreated dm an Admin and we will resolve the issue.
also any admin/mod please message the admin/mod chat to discuss banning and/or kicking someone
All Channels will have pinned messages explaining what they are there for and how everything works. If you don't understand something, feel free to ask!
Your presence in this server implies accepting these rules, including all further changes. These changes might be done at any time without notice, it is your responsibility to check for them.
is there a way to send message reports to admins and not discord?
09:34
ugh i dont think there is
09:35
“hi guys!˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊
welcome to the ibdp 2022 discord server!
for those of you new to discord, who’ve never had it before or don’t use it often, this is the channel for you!
first up: navigation
one of discords best features is its channels! using the left menu (accessible from the hamburger button at the top left if on mobile, or swiping it open), you can see the name of the server, all the text channels, and the voice channels!
please try to direct messages into the correct channels. there are ones for introduction, which you don’t need to message in but should read, and then the general channels (for complaining, topics all ib students can relate to, etc), and class-specific channels.
the voice channels are there as well, with channel names that can direct you to the correct place! if you have a hard math test tomorrow, hit study room 1 with the other aa kids!
to use the voice chat, just click on it and enter!
next: server specifics
you will get a nickname in the server- your first name and last initial. you also will select a role that indicates your preferred pronouns, so we all can be respectful.
you can have any profile picture and status (both of which are accessible and editable from your account page, the far right button on the bottom on mobile) you’d like.
you can reach out to any of the admins if you need anything. if someone isn’t respecting your pronouns, is causing issues outside of the discourse channel, or is just generally being a dick, privately message one of us (i’m the most approachable (๑・̑◡・̑๑)) and we’ll address it. hopefully this won’t be an issue !!
if you have any additional questions about discord and how to use it, please send a message in this server or privately to me! (dogboy#0500)”
09:35
for the intro
09:35
good?
09:36
i’ll add text edits to emphasize when it’s all poggers
mods wouldn’t have edit perms but could keep an eye on shit for us and help people w questions, i’d nominate ryann if anyone since they know a lot ab disc and are poggers
also this server will b good to organize class events! hopefully we can all get more vibey together as a class and do some things like the gaming or movie nights
11:47
most other ib classes did stuff like that, my sister’s did a lot of meetups to get ice cream/dinner
should we make a text channel for one/more of the voice chats? my servers usually have text chats for the vcs bc people like to be muted but still interact
this makes me remember last year in june when i was still figuring out my pronouns i used she/they for like a month and then ended up liking they/them pronouns so much i switched it to my primary pronoun >:]
-If you don't want tons of notifications from the busy channels, we highly recommend setting your notifications to @ mentions only in case anyone needs something from you specifically i.e. @noah s. "__?"
- you can choose any nickname for your roles but please do make sure it’s recognizable to classmates. The standard right now is first name last initial.
- Please do role selection! It's for your benefit to let you into the locked channels that are specific to each class
-Please be mindful of everyone's selected pronouns :) They're indicated by a pink display name for she/her, light blue for he/him, purple for they/them, dark pink for she/they, and dark blue for he/they. These can be chosen in role selection and will adjust automatically.
btw, for the people inexperienced with multi-sets of pronouns, people with (for example) she/they pronouns go by both she/her and they/them. Instead of using just one set for "ease" try to switch between both sets to be more accommodating :)(edited)
in another server im in i made a role called "fucking idiot bad opinions" and it confines you to a channel named "freak zoo" where nobody else has speaking permissions except for the people with the role but you cant see any other channels
i havent opened my email in like 3 weeks so luckily i havent had to read any of them and therefore they don’t exist but whenever i saw “Maginel Hipsley has left a comment on [assignment]” in my inbox i would simply mark as read and move on
also i remember when i had a broken phone camera i had to take a fucked up picture of my test to submit it and then wait for my mom to get home to take an actual picture and resubmit i took the fucked up picture first and submitted it and then went back to my test to fix my answers and do one that i didn’t do earlier
15:01
and when i had quality pictures of my new work i just went back into my test and deleted the old images thereby destroying the evidence
15:02
and i noticed like a day later i had a comment from her that said “where are the original images” and i just went and never said anything
Families should complete this form to submit a request to change their child's learning model from:
100% remote to in-person learning
OR
In-person to 100% remote learning
PLEASE NOTE:
- Families can request only one change per child for the last quarter of school.
- No changes can occur from February 21 through the first day of in-person s...
11:06
in the terms for returning to in person they hold the authority to send you to another school ...
that is a fair judgement, i agree that we could very easily all get canned for academic dishonesty or whatever with answers, but i think i could moderate that
doesn't seem to fit gen chat, but i used to get annoyed seeing everybody post the same natural event like a rainbow on their stories and shit but now i think it's pretty fuckin cool to see all the simple ways people are connected
hey do you guys think it would be a good idea to come out as nonbinary to my other irls i would have to do it via my snapchat story because thats literally the only social media i have with anyone else irl now LOL
yeah!!! i just posted a little thing on my private story a few minutes ago... i think it'll be alright! praying that there arent any secret transphobes among my friends though
20:55
thanks for the advice! i really appreciate it ^_^
20:58
update: the first person who saw it responded very positively and said theyre happy for me
if you wanna run that’s swag but it’s a pretty performative position
23:13
i feel like having a position in a different organization/club where you can actually do stuff is much more impressive than just saying you’re class president and having much less to back it with
LMFAO yeah i had to take the admin status to keep you from disconnecting or muting me but i have to go back in and give all the other privs back manually
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Gook
Knives Out
A Silent Voice
Logan
Get Out
Chef
X-Men First Class
Rush Hour 2
Chronicle
Your Name
Patema Inverted
One Night in Miami
Evil Dead (2013)
The Evil Dead (1981)
Dope
Super 8
Aliens
Creed
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Swiss Army Man
I Am Not Your Negro
500 Days of Summer(edited)
ok anime wise (we dont have to watch it obviously) i think everyone should watch revolutionary girl utena its so so good but also kind of fucked up <3 and the art style is pretty
people laugh it sounds like static
imagine what it sounds like to break a glass vase. how the thicker bottom part dully clangs and the upper decorated carved part cracks like misshapen ice covers on car windows when people punch them out from the inside. imagine people walking over that glass in thick soled boots and sneakers and driving it into the dirt and grounding it till its smooth everywhere and inoffensive and no one cares for it. you wont pose any danger to anyone if you let yourself be brought back down. i dont know if you want to be inoffensive. maybe for you that means unnoticed. i dont know you at all. or well. if you know, do tell me, but how wrong is it to feel like hurt lingers for a reason and hurting works better than caring for ever will. youll always remember those whove been bad on your skin. isnt that the same for everyone? dont we all want to be remembered and soul tethered to here more than there? maybe youd be better off wherever there is, than stuck here after you die but not in the way honey sticks to fingers and spoons, but in the way stale gum sticks to undersides of desks and outlasts every living soul till the end of earth ends it too. whats your referential system. what even is there. id propose to you with a condensation ring cause dont it shine just like the real thing would. people are better off knowing the better you. maybe let them try.
found dead in a national park under mysterious circumstances
you uh, definitely have some issues and are really going through it right now. you're questioning if it'll be more beneficial for your mental health to disappear into the heart of nature than stay with your responsibilities. you love cryptids and possibly watch buzzfeed unsolved. autumn is your favourite season, and you adore creepy aesthetics and vibes. I hope you become free of your problems soon. here is your playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7pm3s3iG7bod9M6wyhwLYs?si=gtXCpKK5Q_6CjRg9nl5h_w
found dead in a national park under mysterious circumstances
you uh, definitely have some issues and are really going through it right now. you're questioning if it'll be more beneficial for your mental health to disappear into the heart of nature than stay with your responsibilities. you love cryptids and possibly watch buzzfeed unsolved. autumn is your favourite season, and you adore creepy aesthetics and vibes. I hope you become free of your problems soon. here is your playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7pm3s3iG7bod9M6wyhwLYs?si=gtXCpKK5Q_6CjRg9nl5h_w
crawling out of your bedroom window to meet your friends and drive around your town with grey skies
you're going through a lot right now, but you have the most incredible friends in the world. on this friday night you pretend to sleep, then climb out your bedroom window and run across the wet grass to meet your friends. driving through all the streets you can, your group decides to do something spontaneous: road trip to the ocean. all agreed after checking wallets and combining notes for the long drive to see the waves under moonlight. it's not like you have to be anywhere tomorrow....... here is your playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4IganWjXt9gn3kG141sO4c?si=99pL9UxAQFWfel-_M2H6ZA
hitchhicking through a country town that you've never been before but your deja vu is overwhelming
you've experienced some strange things in your lifetime and are open to new possibilities. none quite as strange as this however. while hitchhiking through a small country town, your soul leaps and you start experiencing almost non stop deja vu. this place is so.... comforting?... it feels like home... and for some unexplainable reason you feel as though you want to jump out of the car right there and never leave again. maybe you lived here in your past life? all you know is that when you looked out that window over those trees and houses, you felt tears in your eyes. here is your playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3jCGoxPW4OYYXOHdZOKPvW?si=aF7Jh4bpTEKregI7X0vh1Q
doing handstands in pyramids
hahahhahaha what did you just say? thats actually so fucking funny. water cant keep still, and youre over two thirds water. theres wind blowing through the hollows in your ribs. do you think death matters when its all the universe knows? your favorite carnival ride is spinning around the saturn on its rings. sometimes you think about the end of the world, sometimes you feel like youll be the one to bring it about. you could dig your fingers in the dirt, it wouldnt make you a tree though. can you walk away from yourself? you feel like you could, you think you mightve done it a few times, but it felt hollow. arent you tired of feeling hollow? arent you tired of not sleeping in regular times? you could upturn the moons virgin soil and plant all the tears you didnt care to cry in it, but your heart is dry, and when your bones dry off too youll be happy, a nothing that used to be all. youve never been to therapy. you stencil a smile on your face because everyone else hopes to see it there. youre fine. youre alright. look, theres always the blue haze of mountains in the distance. its their job to be stable, its your job to cackle at your own jokes and unravel your own brain for fun. good luck.
i know we’ve talked about having a game night before- my moms going out of town for the week and I got permission to have people over. would you all be interested?
we should do a poll on days/times ppl are available, just a quick one. i already have my college prep course nearly done, and i have a plan for it- exie it’s up to you to figure out your test prep stuff
20:35
and we should ask everyone in here if they’re interested in leading a section
HELP ME GABE I WAS READING YOUR SPREADSHEET AND FORGOT YOUR DEADLINES WERE /SUGGESTED/ DEADLINES AND NEARLY SHAT MYSELF WHEN I SAW THE BIO IA RESEARCH DEADLINE ON JULY 15TH
13:57
im doing an experiment on myself using cbd oil which will literally take like two weeks so i almost spontaneously combusted
13:58
oh god the history ia draft 2 deadline is a week from now [coughs up blood]
the abuse of power was fun while it lasted but we should probably stick to our own channels and keep it academic if we want this to work at its full scale
not since summer, and yeah, i know. people brought it up in class so i'm being mindful of it. yeah, class channels just try and keep it pertaining to what's happening in class etc. I think i've figured out channel perms, but i trust you guys enough to just not message in the class channels.
anyway, as noted in announcements @Admins , the mods and i thought we might change he/they and she/they to they/she and they/he so that people actually use them interchangeably instead of just using it as an excuse to default
ok im putting this in this channel because i dont want everyone else to see my mental state rapidly deteriorating but i think i might have to ask for an extension on the essays because i genuinely am really going through it right now
19:29
tmi skin stuff my entire fucking face is itching which makes me like want to tear off my skin and it makes me unable to focus on literally anything
19:30
on friday night this happened and i've never felt so close to literally losing my mind then so im praying tonight is not a repeat but its going in that direction
19:31
my mom made me take a benadryl because she thought it would help but im worried as a side effect its going to make me extremely tired and thus unable to really do much
well instead of writing my essays i will be writing a lovely email to mrs beaven telling her that i am currently experiencing problems disorder and need a little bit more time to get my shit in order
ok how do i tell mrs beaven not to worry about me too much because im worried she might think im like downright suicidal and try to either contact my parents or take me down to the counselor or something
20:12
she pulled me aside earlier when i wrote on the "about you" page or whatever that i have mental illness which makes it hard for me to complete work
Hi Mrs. Beaven,
I know you probably won't see this email until tomorrow, but I think I might need an extension on my summer work. I feel a little bad for asking because you already extended the deadline from last Friday, but I'm really not in a great place right now to finish it. Sorry if this is TMI, but for whatever reason the skin on my face has started itching and it's literally driving me up the wall. This, compounded with the fact that my mental stability right now is essentially being held together with Scotch tape, staples, and prayers, is making it really hard to focus on my work and especially putting out something that I'm satisfied enough with to submit to you. I know this is my fault for not working on this more during the summer, but I'm going to be honest, I was also in kind of a bad place mentally in that time period and it was really hard to get anything accomplished for any of my classes. :(
I'm really sorry for any inconvenience this might cause. I just need a little bit more time to get myself back into shape and in order, and the summer work I haven't done yet will definitely be in by Wednesday at the latest. I'm going to try and work on my essays right now, but from where I'm at in this moment, I can't tell if I'll be able to finish them by the end of tonight or not.
Thank you for understanding.
Ryann
(P.S. - Please don't worry too much about me! I'll be completely fine, I just need a little while to recuperate. I'm definitely not on the verge of harming myself or others if that's what you're concerned about.)
i hate writing those emails because there's no way i’m going to be anywhere close to ‘recuperated’ before the end of the school year so i can’t promise results
spoilers!! i'm not fucking doing the anna karenina essay!! if she's got a big issue with it, she can come talk to me about it on her own time, but fuck her, fuck that class, fuck this doodoo ass essay, these fucking idiot russian oligarch cunts, and every mf in ib that dares cross me in the next month
according to the cheerleaders (a very likely unreliable source) a mom came into firestone pretending to be a student to take the place of her kid in a fight. almost 100 percent sure it’s not true, but entertaining nonetheless
going to be honest i am very tempted to not show up to school tomorrow (tmi skin stuff again) my skin is like. peeling off of my face and i might be dying a little
23:17
thank god i have a dermatologist appointment tomorrow i need this suffering to end asap
btw um does anyone in here want to try to organize going to dinner before homecoming sorry this is unrelated i clicked on this channel the same time you sent your message
on a call with noah rn while he’s driving and i think he’s almost crashed like 4 times
21:26
5
ryann
btw um does anyone in here want to try to organize going to dinner before homecoming sorry this is unrelated i clicked on this channel the same time you sent your message
i said that in a “you and me are doing that thing we do and it’s slightly abnormal” way and not a “you’re doing something wrong way” i apologize for the way it came off
ok sorry i have to vent like among us again but i cant tell if im on the verge of a mental breakdown again or if i'm having a mental breakdown as we speak. im feeling every single emotion at once but at the same time i feel like im not feeling anything. i think i stopped feeling regular emotions months ago and i dont know what to do with this information. i have no energy to do anything other than sit in my bed and do nothing but at the same time i feel like i need to start running away from something. i like have no idea what to do at this point but i can already tell its only getting worse from here and i feel like i need a break from just. life in general or something. idk. like i dont want to die but i dont want to keep doing this y'know dont feel like you have to respond to that at all i just needed to get that off my chest and i didnt want to put this in #venting-˳·˖✶ because it feels too personal and i dont want people to see me breaking down publicly LOL
its ok i posted it uncensored anyway in #go-positively-bonkers-˳·˖✶
ryann
ok sorry i have to vent like among us again but i cant tell if im on the verge of a mental breakdown again or if i'm having a mental breakdown as we speak. im feeling every single emotion at once but at the same time i feel like im not feeling anything. i think i stopped feeling regular emotions months ago and i dont know what to do with this information. i have no energy to do anything other than sit in my bed and do nothing but at the same time i feel like i need to start running away from something. i like have no idea what to do at this point but i can already tell its only getting worse from here and i feel like i need a break from just. life in general or something. idk. like i dont want to die but i dont want to keep doing this y'know dont feel like you have to respond to that at all i just needed to get that off my chest and i didnt want to put this in #venting-˳·˖✶ because it feels too personal and i dont want people to see me breaking down publicly LOL
idk if you’re in therapy already, but if you’re not i believe our school offers free counselors (i really really hope they do). i don’t know what works for you when you feel like crap, but if it’s seeing people i’m happy to meet up whenever i’m available / or we could do a game night soon? if hosting it would stress you out more than i could but if it would help you take your mind off things that’s great too.
ALSO!!! i would love to host a game night/general hangout that would definitely be really fun ^_^
3
19:16
i miiiight just have the admin/mod gang over at first just because my mom is starting to get kind of hesitant about having a large number of people over at once again because of covid
gabe >:)
i’d suggest looking into it asap!! sorry too, i was also at tennis n also werk
but like. i’ve been seeing a lot of posts ab the spectrum of suicidality and that ranks pretty strictly at passive suicidal ideation and it is REALLY hard to get help once you’re farther into it
just from my own experience- it’s really hard to work on stuff when you’re in this stage, but if you do the work now, it can prevent you from even Seeing the other ones
but like. i’ve been seeing a lot of posts ab the spectrum of suicidality and that ranks pretty strictly at passive suicidal ideation and it is REALLY hard to get help once you’re farther into it
several things:
1) can we add something about @ing people for specific classes in the respective channels?- i think mia posted something about french in the general chat
2) can we pin the study materials people post to the channels?
3) noah i’m being mean and calling you out in the group chat, but you used the wrong “your” in your announcement
23:04
oh there were actually 2 of them and i just skipped over 1
Nerea couldn’t remember the name for marshmallow in spanish so my mom said “Nerea’s not really Spanish, she’s just an imposter”, and my brain went straight to Among Us, thanks a lot Ryann
or she denigrates them in order to feel better ab herself (like by acting like going to the banquet is embarrassing even tho i received 3 36’s and personally think i deserve some honor for it lol)
she then proceeded to say that she dreamt she was going on a camping trip with her parents and me and i made them all stop at dollar tree to buy notebooks even though she wanted to move on
14:47
dunno what that means for me- guess i’m a source of anxiety?
everyone except jade and i are missing out- we just got a notification that firestone and lichfield are on full lockdown- notified by student services, whatever that means
i feel like ive already had too many absences this month (in reality ive been gone for like 3 days total but whatever) so i probably will still show up tomorrow cries
on the promise of immediate death by my mom, i will be doing my history ia draft and art assignment today. if anyone else is planning on doing hw today i’ll get on the vc
if it really gets to a point where i want to [REDACTED] myself im gonna talk to them but for now i think i just need to fight this battle on my own and hopefully itll get better
i think gabe said this earlier but it’s probably better to get help before you get to the strong suicidal ideation part as much as you probably don’t want to do that
not saying that sexy costumes CAN'T be good but considering the fact that i am 17 and also going to wear this to the dance i dont think that is in the cards for me
Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.
im seriously about to detonate i just left work like an hour and a half after i was supposed to because some fucking lady ordered 108 BUNDTLETS and we only had one froster
21:14
oh im in the wrong server its ok though
21:15
but yeah i didnt grab cake this time because i was too busy trying to gtfo from work :’)
my to do list because i’m severely struggling with motivation rn
15:42
in all seriousness my mom let me stay home on the condition that i would get stuff done today and unsurprisingly nothing has happened other than me lying in bed and doing nothing
15:42
15:42
and my math ia is due TOMORROW NIGHT... bro...
ryann
in all seriousness my mom let me stay home on the condition that i would get stuff done today and unsurprisingly nothing has happened other than me lying in bed and doing nothing
hoco starts at 7:30, would 6 be a good time to have everybody ready? we can say 5:30 and lie to ourselves so that some of our,, slower compatriots are more proactive
hoco starts at 7:30, would 6 be a good time to have everybody ready? we can say 5:30 and lie to ourselves so that some of our,, slower compatriots are more proactive
i definitely think we as a group have a lot of much better material for the one second a day video but i also don’t really want grace to have that footage
replying to a message with a ping doesnt do anything bc it just shows the ping and not the message
19:27
i like to add my pings to the end of messages so the majority of the notification is the actual content i want shared- the purpose of the ping is just so the notification goes thru for those w/ the server muted
Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.
22:15
here it is!
22:15
you have to be logged into your school account to see it though
Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.
there's this really fucking cool guy that comes in and he always brings his own containers when he orders to go because he's trying to live waste free and stuff
i still only have 966 words and none of them feel meaningful
17:08
whatever at this point im just gonna write down whatever the hell i can think of and then turn it in and fix it later
2
17:09
im keeping myself going just by the fact that you only need 7 points to pass and harrison was telling us it’s really hard to fail unless you’re doing it on purpose sooo
there’s an insane amount of crows outside of my house and they were being super loud and my mom asked me if i knew what a group of crows was called and i said a murder. she went “good gi-bo-whatever you are- child”
there’s an insane amount of crows outside of my house and they were being super loud and my mom asked me if i knew what a group of crows was called and i said a murder. she went “good gi-bo-whatever you are- child”
estaba hablando con noah de este anoche- uno de las diferencias más grandes entre mi madre y padre es que ella quiere cambiar para ser una persona mayor y a mi padre no le importa
estaba hablando con noah de este anoche- uno de las diferencias más grandes entre mi madre y padre es que ella quiere cambiar para ser una persona mayor y a mi padre no le importa
1) exactly what i thought your counter tops would look like
2) a little bit jealous of your access to these ingredients at 11 at night, nvmd at all
3) please tell me what the preparation process is going to be. oreo plus milk plus de pepper? dr pepper and milk and dunk an oreo? let the oreo marínate in the dr pepper and introduce it to the milk?
sorry i keep venting in here but i dont know where else to put it so <3 love and light having a great #MentalIllnessMonday today. my brain is trying to convince itself that everyone secretly hates me and wants me dead and i dont think i have the mental capacity to put up with my own bullshit anymore. im hoping to god a nap will fix it but at the same time i have done 0% of my history ia final draft thats due tonight. can someone just euthanize me already
14:34
in better news i started almost crying during tok which is something i didnt think i could do anymore so thats good
sorry i didn’t see this earlier- glad to hear you’re doing better : ) can’t talk for anyone else but i do not secretly hate you and definitely don’t want you dead.(edited)
freeze {end frame number} - Makes an image sequence only play once
funky - Adds the New Funky Mode banner to an image
gamexplain - Makes a GameXplain thumbnail from an image
globe - Spins an image
haah - Mirrors the left side of an image onto the right
hooh - Mirrors the bottom of an image onto the top
hypercam - Adds the Hypercam watermark to an image
ifunny - Adds the iFunny watermark to an image
implode - Implodes an image
invert - Inverts an image
jpeg - Adds max JPEG compression to an image
kinemaster - Adds the KineMaster watermark to an image
leak - Creates a fake Smash leak thumbnail
magik - Adds a content aware scale effect to an image
meme [top text],{bottom text} - Generates a meme from an image (separate top/bottom text with a comma)
SURPRISINGLY GOOD ACTUALLY i fell asleep tuesday night with my laptop still open at like 1 am
1
23:14
i was forced to get up early both yesterday because of the kent state field trip thing and today because i had a doctors appointment first thing in the morning but other than that i actually feel like im getting a decent quality of sleep
tangentially related but at the doctors today they made my mom step out of the room so i could talk about my Cool Guy Syndrome (depression or whatever the hell it is im going through) and i actually did
23:21
however i did say that "oh i think it'll get better once im done with all my school work and stuff". i dont know if that will happen at all. we'll see i guess
23:21
also they asked me my gender identity and sexual orientation and I DIDNT LIE
ryann
also they asked me my gender identity and sexual orientation and I DIDNT LIE
it’s so clear to me when she feels personally attacked bc she never gives a lecture ab “not attacking people” when it comes to stuff that doesnt apply to her
ummm btw did you have any experiments in particular in mind for our psych ia... we’re going over it rn in class but i feel bad working on it while you’re not here LOL
honestly just do whatever you think feels good at the time and if you dont like it you can just quit and go back
22:31
tangentially related originally when i was iding as cis i was like Hm maybe i should use she/they pronouns :) and it felt pretty nice and then i started having an epic gender crisis and became n-b and told one of my friends (who is also trans) and she said “yeah i wasn’t particularly surprised after you started using they/them pronouns” LOL(edited)
22:32
gender is a fuck
22:38
if i think about it too long it makes me want to rip the door off my refrigerator
the last project (canterbury tales) was súper opinion based and that this requires some knowledge of catholocism which was not our main focus when reading this i think are two contributing factors(edited)
22:38
i thought this was going to be a fun “what is your philosophical opinion on hell” kind of project
Hi Mrs. Beaven,
Hopefully you've been enjoying Thanksgiving break! I'm reaching out to you because I have a concern about the Inferno project that is due tomorrow.
I'm not sure what my group members (Kensi and Hannah) decided on while I was out Tuesday, but I went to go work on the project and noticed that the page we were supposed to work on together was, from what I can tell, completed and my name is entirely absent. I'm worried I might have been removed from the group without my consent or knowledge. I would have reached out to them, but I don't know either of their numbers and I know they more than likely won't see an email from me until tomorrow when it's too late. They haven't reached out to me, either.
Because this project is worth so many points, I'm definitely worried about how I'm going to go about completing it now. Is there any way I could potentially remedy this situation? At the moment, I'm unsure on how to tackle this issue.
I apologize for realizing this so late, by the way. I've been swamped with work for the past few days and have just now gotten around to looking at the website.
Thank you!
Ryann Harvey
12:46
alright well i sent it and if she doesnt reply. that is not my fault
i have the kent honors application due tonight which is ez but its probably going to take up time i could be using to get other stuff done
20:49
the math midterm is tomorrow and i know i need to study cause theres stuff on there im rusty on but god at this point im just like. whatever happens when i walk in there and take that test happens
but yeah im just so close to trying to fake my own death so i can escape my numerous academic obligations. or something along those lines
20:53
UMM idk. yet
20:54
im probably going to talk about my depression and other fun mental illnesses in spring 2020 and how i got a therapist in june that helped me overcome it
20:54
its funny how im writing about that and yet. here i am
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harrison said that shes going to fail me for not showing up
08:47
❤️
08:47
Hi Ms. Harrison,
I heard from Dominic that because I didn’t show up for the IB forum today that you are planning on giving me a failing grade for the “exam”.
I don’t know how to put this gently, but the reason why I didn’t show up today is because I am quite literally on the brink of a mental breakdown. I am having the worst week of my life in regards to my mental health so far, and I didn’t think it would be a good idea to come to the forum when I’m in this state of mind.
As you can imagine, hearing that my absence will lead to what is presumably a failing grade in TOK set off some alarms. I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, but I’m already in a terrible place and hearing this did not help with that.
I’d like to kindly ask you to reconsider your stance on this issue. Truly, if I were not in such a dire state, I would have gladly attended the forum. However, I’m at a point where I have to choose between school and my mental health - and I’m choosing to put my health first. I hope you can understand that.
Thank you.
Hi Ms. Harrison,
I heard from Dominic that because I didn’t show up for the IB forum today that you are planning on giving me a failing grade for the “exam”.
As you likely already know, there have been a few threats made in the past 48 hours to the school. Because of this, my mother was incredibly worried for my safety, and elected to keep me home today. There was no way I could have changed her mind if I tried.
Truly, if this were not the case, I would have loved to come to the forum. Naturally, when I heard that you were planning on giving me a 0 for the “midterm” and by extension a failing grade in TOK, I was incredibly alarmed. This situation is something entirely out of my hands, and personally I don’t think it’s justified to penalize me for a decision my mom made out of concern for my safety.
As such, I would kindly ask you to reconsider your stance on this issue.
Thank you.(edited)
08:58
how’s this
09:00
alternatively i just send her this image and get expelled
heavy venting lol i’m gonna keep it real with you i am trying so hard not to think about sh/killing myself rn its insane. every time i think i’ve hit rock bottom it only gets worse and i have so much shit missing im ready to just disappear without a trace just to escape my academic obligations
agreed, if there's anything I can help with please lmk. again, ib shouldn't be making you suicidal and nobody judges you I'd drop, I fully support the decision is things are getting bad. shit is hard regularly, you don't need that added stress. we love you, and we'll support you teen billion percent
oh ryann, im so sorry- i was afraid you’d get to this point. the advice i can give you is 1) reach out to all of your teachers and just do it as a group email and it’s going to suck so bad but it’ll probably help 2) i dunno if you can talk to your parents about it but if you can get into therapy you definitely should do it 3) i went through php and took a ton of notes on helpful stuff- i can share them with you if you want 4) if you ever need anything school wise i’m happy to help
ok for real though i have so much shit missing thinking about it makes me want to throw up a little
2
22:20
i got like nothing accomplished over break because i was too busy trying to mentally recharge and then life threw even more unrelated shit at me during the course of it which i will not be getting into here but
22:20
im just
22:21
i know harrison is going to be like Where the fuck is your ee you had like two full weeks to get it done tomorrow and im gonna be honest with you i just wish i couldnt show up to tok
22:21
like logically speaking i know i should have been able to get at least SOMETHING done but. here we are
i dont even know how i would break it to my parents and also. colleges
ryann
i know harrison is going to be like Where the fuck is your ee you had like two full weeks to get it done tomorrow and im gonna be honest with you i just wish i couldnt show up to tok
right now my main strategy is figuring out things outside of school that keep me going because if i stop to think about it for too long i might uh. not be alive
im literally going to kms harrison basically just told me im a fucking idiot for not trying to find a way to turn my shit in and we just looked at my semester grades and i have an f in history for some reason even though i turned in all my work
11:34
actially i should clarify i have a C+ for my semester grade in tok, bio, and history but
coffield said this morning that the end of the grading period is probably going to be moved- regs might help you, but it’s up to the individual teacher
i have to talk to regs but her class is at the end of the day
11:36
and im leaving before then
11:37
i think the funniest part is i was like “is there any way to fix this or am i dead in the water” and she straight up told me “you’re dead in the water”
heavy venting again <3 sorry. i feel sick to my stomach right now i have like no motivation for anything and now that the tok essay deadline is also looming over my head i genuinely want to die
21:34
i want to give up so so bad but i know harrison is going to berate me again or even worse give me her fake pity. i'd rather just have her yell at me because i know damn well that she does not give a shit about me and she just wants me to turn my shit in so i'm not her one and only failure for the ee
21:36
i just wish i never got myself into this situation in the first place because it's like. a snowball effect i guess and every time i think it can't get any worse it does
i know you probably don’t want to hear this anymore but i would really, REALLY consider rescinding from the program atp
22:07
don’t fall prey to the sunk cost fallacy. u have spent 3.5 years miserable In this program, but for near this entire school year u’ve been saying how ur now miserable BECAUSE of the program, which is very different
22:08
obviously we are all here to support you and help you as much as we can, we all lift each other up, but this is taking a much more significant toll on you (and a few other ib learners) than on the majority of our class
22:08
the diploma isn’t worth your mental health
22:09
ib has beyond prepared you for any ap or honors or typical gened course so even if you joined all ap classes rn you’d probably be able to keep up(edited)
22:10
we will support you in anything you choose, but i hope that you really seriously consider it
22:10
bc like 5 months ago we were talking about the chart of suicidality and you seem to be . much further up on it than you were previously
yeah.. thank you gabe i really appreciate you saying this its just hard for me to really even fathom dropping ib right now despite the fact that i know this is slowly killing me because
1) harrison will absolutely throw a fit if i tell her i need to drop out
2) i would have to tell my parents first and i am honestly very scared at how they'll react given that i've refused to talk to them about it until now because. i was scared of how they would react LOL
3) i have no idea what will happen to my college stuff afterwards because i know they take a look at your transcript after all is said and done and i can't help but wonder if i was accepted into the honors programs under the assumption i would get the diploma
22:16
its just hard to think about i guess
22:17
let alone actually go through with it
22:18
at the same time though i feel like im being overly scared of what MIGHT happen because whatever scenarios im imagining in my head might not even happen at all
but yeah ib aside i am definitely struggling with suicidal ideation and it fucking blows because i KNOW things could get better eventually but at the same time the idea of a way out of like everything can be tempting at times. i havent given in yet but i'm worried one day i might
we angrily talked about people we don't like and the bullshit that they do in class that pisses off e.g the unprecedentedly annoying fucking flirty bullshit between the throuple that is bella dom and leya, bella and dom are just generally unbearable at times, bella saying she didn't want to watch/wasn't interested in the reconstruction era history notes that are like the entirety of the civil rights movements, issues with the french ias, hannah doesn't like bella, hipsley is crazy, megan's dad's stroke game is weak, andraya is looking for a potential prom date, etc
dude i collapsed out of my Chair when megan's dad came up
00:00
it was beautiful
00:01
megan's mom said "megan you should have sex Before you get married because that way you can tell if he's... yk the one to meet, in the biblical sense" and boy when she explained the implications
but also i thought it was hilarious when i was passing back papers during the quizziz and i just saw him straight up cheating and just smiled and walked away
you gotta bullshit a text and some responses tomorrow morning, go to bed now so you can get that experiment done sooner and give yourself more time to actually write the paper(edited)
for clarification's sake, you guys are three of the only people i actually tolerate in ib, everybody else i tolerate is either uncertainty or straight up a facade. dom is amusing but i do not like him as a person in the slightest for example